Let it Go

Wow, it has been a while since I have written! And so much has happened in my little South American adventure!
So my first session here has now ended, and my second and final session for the summer begins tomorrow as 5 new volunteers arrive to Trujillo in the morning! I'm excited to meet new volunteers and to have such a small group (classic introvert- need small groups, need small groups!!!), but I dearly miss the volunteers from last session. I made some great friendships with a lot of the people, and I am continuously amazed by the uniqueness of every human being on this planet. It's also crazy to me that people from all over the States can come together and bond so quickly while placed in a different country and culture for a month. I formed a close bond with girls who are in a very similar place in their lives as I am- getting ready for senior year, wondering about the future, going through relational hardships- and it is so comforting to have someone who can be there to listen and also legitimately say and mean, "I'm there, too. I understand". The way God created us to be in relationships with others is a true testimony to His love and desire to be in a relationship with us, which I am also continually reminded of as I have people loving on me, caring for me, cheering me on, and praying for me. So I am feeling very thankful for new friendships and for the potential of more, and I am also forever grateful for those old souls who have been in my life for a long time; I even sort of have this amazingly beautiful friend who knew me before I even existed in this world! And I've got to say that she has a pretty awesome twin. ;)
Today is not only significant because it is the eve of my last session for the summer, but today is also the day I returned from an incredible adventure in Ecuador!!! But let me back up and build some suspense.
Before Ecuador, I traveled to a beautiful city called Cajamarca with a group of volunteers during the last session. It was a great weekend trip, full of sightseeing, hiking, and good food. And soccer! Cajamarca is known for its rolling hills and its amazing dairy products, so I took advantage of both of those aspects. I saw ancient aqueducts and tombs used by the Incans, walked through a tiny cave, saw a NAKED PERUVIAN DOG, ate some incredible manjar, and- best of all- I pet COWS! Funny thing about the naked Peruvian dog sighting- I had seen a few of these dogs last year in ruins we walked through, but I had yet to have seen one this year. And then, lo and behold, my friend spotted one in the main plaza in Cajamarca, walking on a leash with her Peruvian owner! So we stopped the owner, a really nice girl who also miraculously spoke English, and pet her dog and took many selfies with it. It was incredible!!! Day made. However, this was topped later that day when a few of us went to a dairy farm during one of our tours just outside the city. After we rode horses across a bridge and walked through gorgeous gardens, we were able to go into a very tiny barn- full of cows. We all got so excited to enter this sea of cows who were all standing inches from us on either side, that we walked right into the barn. What I did not realize about cows, though, is that they like to chew. Anything. Especially sweaters and hair. So I have quite a few great pictures of my friends being grabbed by these crazed cows by the fur of their llama sweaters. So funny! I didn't dare go fully into that barn after I witnessed that. However, I decided it would be a great idea to get face-to-face with one just outside the barn for a picture. A friend took the picture of me and this cow, Clara, and just as I was done smiling for the picture, Clara attacked my hair with a vengeance and yanked as hard as her little rubbery nose would help her. I screamed, already picturing myself with this huge bald spot on the right side of my head, and pulled my hair from her ironclad mouth. Ouch. But that was totally worth it- when I looked at the picture later, I could see that she was just about to do that. The look of desperation in her eyes to eat my hair is entertaining enough to make it all comical. Besides that, I also attended a fútbol (soccer) game played between Cajamarca and Lima while I was visiting and then watched the World Cup Final the next day! So much fútbol. We also toured a zoo in Cajamarca that was nestled in a village built and habituated by a group of Christians. It was so beautiful there, especially because the land was decorated with the most majestic adornment of all- the llama. Well, a few friends and I got so overly obsessed about taking pictures with all the llamas that we got behind the rest of our tour group. After 20 minutes of llama photoshoot action, we realized that we were desperately lost and alone, and another girl and I (who is also a coordinator- it's just our natural instinct!) herded the others rapidly through the zoo so we could catch up with the group. We ended up passing all the other animals without stopping and were very proud of ourselves when we found the exit. Until we realized that our group wasn't there but was still inside. And they remained inside, looking at the monkeys, the jaguars, and whatever else was cool in there for the next 40 minutes. Oops. At least we felt a sense of efficiency at the time. Our last big excitement of the weekend was making the lovely discovery that four of the girls in our group who were staying in a different room got bed bugs...that was not a fun situation, but it is interesting because I was very close to choosing that room to sleep in. Phew!
The next weekend was also another adventurous one, in a different way. I took a bus for two hours with my Peruvian friend I met in orchestra last year, Paul, to a city called Chimbote and finally saw Peru's El Sistema methods at work! It was so great. I spent the whole day in Chimbote's cultural center, sitting in the cello sections with high schoolers as Paul conducted and led all the rehearsals- impressive! I then talked to the director, and she seemed thrilled to have me be their cello teacher for the last month I am here. So starting next weekend, here I come, Peruvian El Sistema! I can't wait to see how that goes and to get back into teaching. I miss the musical parts of my life!
And although I have been very busy working and also having lots of fun, I have found some time to make music. There was a fellow music performance major here last session, and he and I put together a little recital for the other volunteers our last week all together. Miraculously enough, it ended up being a hit!!! He plays french horn, so we found an interesting contemporary duet to play together, and I then played cello duets with two other people who happened to play cello- a volunteer and VivePeru's director! It was so fun. After that, the volunteers wanted to hear more...and let's be honest, I really missed playing, so I kept going. It was a really cool experience to play for a mostly musically-uneducated audience and see the music from their perspective. I played the preludes to the first and fifth Bach suites and asked everyone both times to turn off the lights and close their eyes as I played. And then afterwards we talked about different images or emotions that came to mind as the music flowed. I really loved it because even though the prideful part of me wants it to be all about me and "my talent", it was more about this beautiful creation- the language of music- and how it can change how we feel, how we see things, how we view moments in life. And I love educating people about that and opening their eyes to that because I know we are all capable of feeling it and really hearing the music- not just the notes, but the music. So that was a very special performance for me!
The volunteers from the session all left for Machu Picchu later that week, and as they bussed to Lima to catch their flight, my roommate, Lia and I bussed to Ecuador!!! So, why Ecuador? How did this happen?! Well, my bosses told me I would have about five days off in between the two sessions and that I could do whatever I pleased. I thought about many hypothetical situations- I could go back to Huaráz, a city surrounded by glaciers I went to last year. I could try to make it to the Amazon and finally hold a monkey. I could sleep and watch Netflix and hang out in Trujillo by myself for a week (which seemed to be my only option for a while)...or I could travel north by bus and find adventure in Ecuador! And thankfully, my roommate is also staying for this last session, and she was also on board with this idea. So Lia and I embarked on our incredible adventure to Baños, Ecuador- a beautiful, gorgeous tourist town full of amazing activities- on Thursday night. And we arrived there Saturday morning. Rough. We ended up taking two buses and four taxis and traveled for 30 hours total, each way. Talk about a long couple of days! But thankfully, the traveling went smoothly both on the way there and back! We crossed the border and went through immigration, got to our amazing hostel (seriously- if you ever go to Baños, stay at Hostal Erupción! And GO TO BAÑOS!), and began our few days of bucket-list-type adventures. Baños is not only beautiful and safe, but it has many thrilling activities that are also very cheap. So after this past week, I have now seen many beautiful waterfalls, gone ziplining multiple times, cascaded down a waterfall by rope (and nearly drowned...oopsies), swung into clouds and mountains, been near an active volcano, bungee jumped, and I may or may not have been hit on by a couple Ecuadorians...haha! Oh South America. I also spent many special moments with the precious hostel bulldog, Google. He was so cute and cuddly!!! I really loved meeting a lot of other people from different places in Baños. I talked with people from New Zealand, France, Germany, Ireland, southern Illinois, and Michigan! Those Illinois and Michigan people...so exotic! I actually went ziplining with a group of Michiganders, which was sort of a strange experience- of all the people to meet in Ecuador, I ended up talking with these people about Hope College and University of Michigan (sorry, Dad- GO BUCKS!)! After pumping so much adrenaline for three days straight, it all caught up to me in a bad way. I have been sick to my stomach for the past three days now, which really made those two days of travel back to Trujillo extra thrilling. Especially since you are not allowed to use the bathroom for...that type of waste...on either of the buses I was on! A bit graphic, but it's just too awful to not admit. It was a tough 30 hours of travel back. That, coupled with the Psycho/Saw-esque hostel Lia and I spent our 12-hour layover in as we waited for our second bus, really made me eager to get home! I was so tired from our fun excursions and from being sick that I ended up sleeping on that nasty hostel floor on top of a tiny towel. I have yet to find any disturbing bugs crawling on me or in my clothes, so I think I'm okay! Totally worth it. Besides discovering that I can pretty much fall asleep anywhere- be it in a hostel fit for a horror movie, a bus station sitting up, a bus, a taxi...I have also returned to Trujillo having learned something new about myself: I have a very adventurous spirit. I guess I should have deduced that after I decided to fly to South America on my own and live with a bunch of strangers for the first time last summer and then decided to fly to South America on my own and take care of a bunch of strangers this summer, but I didn't fully see that this is something unique within me. Not everyone has this desire to see the world, to meet people from different places, to experience new cultures in a hands-on way, and to do crazy-risky things that some may call "dangerous". I didn't know that I was an adrenaline junkie, that I would love staying in hostels and becoming friends with random strangers from all over the world, that I would be open to eating new foods that at some point could have been my pet, or that I would be willing to travel long periods of time to spend a few days in a piece of paradise. I really saw those things blossom within me last summer, and they have grown even stronger this summer. And it excites me. That might not seem like a big deal, but it's huge when you have another person with your same exact DNA. Being a twin is amazing, as I mentioned earlier how thankful I am for my zygote, Rachel, but it has also impacted me a lot. Because we always spent every moment together, doing the same things growing up, I got used to having an identical clone. Before college, both Rachel and I can attest that it felt like we were just two copies of the same VHS tape. And although it bothered us at times, although we craved for our own identities, neither she nor I knew what that meant. I literally did not know what it meant to be Ruth. I always heard "Rachel" paired with my name. "The Hogle twins" was our nickname, and we hated it but also didn't know what else we could or should be. And yet by high school graduation, Rachel and I both felt that this craving for independence was stronger than our shared fear of figuring life out without each other. And so we split up. I blew up Chicago, and she took over Cleveland. And freshman year- well, that was a hot mess. Talk about crying everywhere- my dorm room, the dorm lounge, practice rooms (my personal favorite, since DePaul's practice rooms are completely see-through! Where else am I supposed to have my "me time" to have a breakdown in privacy?! Not cool.), outside, inside, everywhere. We were both messes living without one another. But it wasn't just that. We were also just falling apart because neither of us had ever known how to stand on our own- how to be our own. Suddenly, I was just Ruth. I wasn't known as someone's twin anymore. And every time Rachel and I came together since our split, people began to point out new differences. And that terrified me. It terrified her. Eventually, however, we did what I'm assuming most singletons (non-twins) do around the time they hit puberty- we both began to embrace our separate and growing identities. I literally entered college having no idea who I was, except for the memorized facts I had already stored in my brain about myself. So the past three years have really been a huge, HUGE time of growth for both of us as we find out who we both are. And it's still scary a lot of the time. It's the continual double-edged sword: you don't want to be the same because you want to feel unique and special, but it's terrifying to be different because that means people see differences in you that usually equate to one being the "better" version of the other. It's rough. But in all of that, Rachel and I are still learning to embrace our differences and cherish our similarities. For me, Peru has been a tremendous time for growth and identity-finding. I now know that I love learning Spanish (thank goodness, since I still have a lot to learn!). I love traveling, and I can even do it on my own and not feel lonely or scared. I am a newfound adrenaline junky. I love teaching music. I love meeting people from different places. And I can be very strong and independent if I need to be. I learned all those things about myself after spending these two summers here. What a treasure! It's definitely been very difficult and will remain hard as my differences with Rachel will increase, but it's such a gift to discover myself in such a profound and unique way. And I am so grateful to have spent this time in Peru in such a pivotal point in my life. It will forever impact me, as it has mainly taught me that God gave me the most special gift He could give me- another human who understands me and loves me in a way I will never experience with anyone else. And still- better yet!- a separate identity in Him. My own name, my own personality traits, my own dreams, my own timeline, my own path. It's thrilling! So here's to another month of self-discovery.
Hi. My name is Ruth, and I love opening my eyes to see what the world holds.