1 Corinthians 15:55

So have you ever had one of those days where you need to take a few seconds (or minutes- depending on how traumatic your day was!) to cheer yourself up and hold onto the good things? Yeah, it was that sort of day today. But, thankfully, it is that kind of night where, once everything is done and quiet, I can reflect on the amazing things that happened in the past 24 hours and feel excited to start another crazy, hard, thrilling day tomorrow. So let me explain.
This past week was great and was jam-packed with integration into Peruvian culture. Our organization set up some great tours and activities for all of us to do once we arrived in Trujillo. So I have now seen the ruins and the museum of Chan Chan, I have sandboarded in the dunes of Conache, been to the beach in Huanchaco (twice!), taken a cooking class on common Peruvian cuisine, and even attempted to sway my move-like-iron hips in a Peruvian dance class that was led by a guy who was probably three years younger than I am and was WAY better at being attractive when he danced. So after many fun adventures and many pictures of some adorable animals, the week came to a close and my friends and I took the weekend to explore Trujillo on our own. I visited the city's botanical gardens twice in one day and was pleasantly surprised to find many peacocks I can take pictures of and then chase around a pole in circles. I then went to some outdoor markets with my friends, including an artisans' market near La Plaza de Armas, a big and beautiful historic area in Trujillo. On Sunday I went to church with one of the Peruvian girls on staff with VivePeru, and it was fantastic! Of course everything was in Spanish, but the worship and love for God was completely obvious and alive there. It was amazing to see how universal the Body is, and it was super encouraging. I even knew a few of the songs' melodies, and that felt like a little piece of home. Five people got up and received Christ after the service, which was in-and-of-itself mind-blowing, but then something even crazier and more mind-blowing happened. The sermon was based on one of the miracles Jesus performed- the time He rose a 12 year-old girl from the dead. The pastor took this story and tied other passages to it to illustrate the point that Jesus has total victory over death. Well, if you read my last blogpost, you might remember my host father just passed away, and my host mother and her family have all been having a very difficult week as they mourn over this unexpected loss. As the pastor spoke, I kept thinking how perfect it would have been if my host family had joined me in church- to hear this Truth when they so badly need to hear those comforting words right now. Well, I got home after the service ended and went to the dining room to eat lunch. While I was there, my host sister-in-law was asking which church I went to, and I pulled out the sermon outline to show her the name. She looked at it and commented that she knew which one that was and was talking in her usual I-speak-really-quickly-in-Spanish-and-you-can't-understand-a-word-I'm-saying way, but then she stopped mid-sentence when she began to actually read the outline. And although I really can not understand what she is saying most of the time, I could feel exactly what she was saying. Her face dropped and tears began to creep into her eyes when she looked up at me and began to express in a very heavy voice how the family really needs to hear these words right now. She called her husband in the room (the son of the deceased father) and showed him, and he got very quiet and also a little teary-eyed and walked out of the room with the paper. He took it straight to his mother in the kitchen, and I gave them some time and then followed him in there. They were all sitting at the table with that outline sitting in front of them. They thanked me for showing them and said other things I could not understand, and I eventually stumbled to say that they could keep the paper, by all means. All of that happened in Spanish, a language I have recently discovered I barely know, and I could tell that this is exactly what was supposed to happen. I literally did not say a word to make any of that happen, nor could I even understand what they were really saying to me. But I felt the sadness and that sigh of peace they released together when they read those words- even if that peace was short-lived, it was nice to see their pain eased for a moment. And I felt so grateful and in awe of what had just happened as I walked out of that kitchen. Some may say that that was just an accident or may not matter or help anything, but that was everything to me, and I believe with all my heart that all of that happened for a very specific and beautiful reason. And it was amazing and wonderful. But the funny thing is, even though that miracle was only two days ago, I have already forgotten how amazing that experience was and how blessed I am.
On Monday (yesterday) I started doing the actual work with the music students, and it was great but definitely different than expected. There are three music teachers with VivePeru...and there are probably almost 40 people with the medical program! So we are a very small minority and it would be sane to say that we are rather short-staffed. The music part of the program is not as developed as the medical program, so many things are just getting off the ground. There have been many surprises thrown my way these past few days. I learned the other day that I am actually teaching college-age kids (16-early 20's), and not young kids like I thought. That was very surprising to me, but I was still excited. I also learned that the music program has a big issue with each student consistently attending rehearsals, and often only half of them show up. I have dealt with this same issue with the YOURS program I mentioned in my first post, so that wasn't too much of a shock. I also learned that I will be helping teach an orchestra of college students who attend a nearby university: I will be leading sectionals, helping the cellists out while they are playing in rehearsals, teaching private lessons, and anything else that will help, which makes me very excited (and slightly nervous!). I can't wait to get that all started, but, as I said, attendance is very inconsistent. So when I showed up to the first rehearsal yesterday to meet my cellists and schedule lessons with them, what happens? Not one cellist shows up! Bummer!! It's not even April, so I know that wasn't a joke! But I am really hoping they come to our next rehearsal on Thursday because I am so eager to meet them and start helping out! But the main thing that has been the hardest for me is the language barrier. I overestimated my Spanish-speaking abilities in the months leading up to my trip and hoped that I would remember everything that I had learned...5 years ago in high school... But, time makes you bolder, children get older, and..I have forgotten most things I had learned. So I have been struggling with understanding people and have been having an even more difficult time with trying to communicate with others! For example, I am going to be sitting in on rehearsals with the Trujillo Symphony Orchestra every morning and will perform in concerts with them this month (one is on the 4th of July!!), which has been super fun but also difficult because I cannot communicate with the other cellists very well. They don't speak any English, and my Spanish consists of some key words and many pauses right now. I ended up just bringing a dictionary to rehearsal this morning so I could have a somewhat-functioning conversation with the young Peruvian guy next to me, and it did actually help! But I am honestly feeling pretty discouraged about my capabilities as a Spanish-speaker, and I am starting to wonder how I can help these students if they can't understand me. I taught half of a lesson with another teacher (who also only speaks Spanish!) yesterday, and it was a long ride on the awkward train!! So I just really hope that, no matter how awkward or embarrassing it is, I am helping these kids get a better musical education than they currently have. I just want to contribute so badly and am starting to feel worried that I am not capable of helping anyone. And just not being able to understand what people are saying in general is 15% entertaining most of the time, but it's also 85% terrifying and frustrating all of the time! If only I could build a time machine or find a nifty wormhole in this nice Peruvian bedroom of mine and go back to junior year of high school when I decided that because I was about to learn a bunch of scary verb tenses I didn't want to deal with and because I switching to an arts high school, I just didn't need to keep up my Spanish! But it's okay. Especially after just reflecting on the fact that God can use anyone, anywhere and in any way He wants, that makes me realize that I am adequate- not because of any skills or knowledge I have (although using that is great as well!), but because I have already been equipped by the One who knows all things, can speak any language, can tear down barriers and break chains. Yeah, I think I can rely on THAT a lot more than I can on anything that comes from me. So tomorrow I will get up again and go to rehearsal, make music, stumble with my words, make others laugh (maybe if I just laugh with them, it won't feel as much like it's just them laughing at me), and hopefully I can help brighten someone's day. Yeah- I'm excited to do it all again tomorrow. And what is life but a series of hard days that end, still holding the promise of a better one to come?