C'est la vie

Today is the day. A month after my last post, and I am now sitting in the hostel in Lima, waiting to leave for the airport and begin my 16-hour commute back to Chicago. What a summer. What an incredible summer. I get goose bumps and all emotional just thinking about this summer. Where do I start?
I returned to Chimbote to teach with Arpegio Peru, the El Sistema program, three more Saturdays. I really loved the environment there, and I enjoyed teaching my students. In every El Sistema program I have witnessed or participated in, I have noticed this inexplicable joy and friendship amongst both the students and their teachers. The kids always seem to greatly respect their directors, teachers, and one another. Their love for music is really inspiring for me, a cellist who felt burnt out and tired of the classical music world upon entering college! Teaching with El Sistema has completely rekindled my love for music and has opened my eyes to how incredibly effective music education can be to instigate social change. There is also just something so sweet about knowing that you can make a difference in a child’s life. Even if you are that dorky white girl a young student had one summer, you can still be a positive memory in his or her life. This summer, I had a student who was very shy and barely said a word to me the three lessons I had with her. And yet, she would always laugh when I made a joke, messed up my words and teased myself, or made funny faces. She and I worked on her basic set-up with her cello and with the pieces she was playing, and she made so much progress. And when we said goodbye, she hugged me so tightly and seemed genuinely devastated. I was also extremely sad to leave her because of her progress as a player but also because I saw the prospect of her opening up to me and maybe others, eventually. And after pictures were taken and multiple hugs were given, we exchanged Facebook information and said goodbye. I hope I taught her something and provided her with a little sense of ease and joy, but no matter what, I know that she and my other two students touched my heart. I have loved all my students in Peru from this year and last and won’t forget them. I am so thankful to have been able to teach this summer!
I also went to church with my host sister one more time before I left, and I also attended a handful of Bible studies and parties with people from the church. Something I have really loved about my experience this summer that is very different than last summer’s is the variety of things I was able to do this time. Going to church and Bible studies, teaching in Chimbote, going for runs, traveling, and working with Vive Peru showed me a little glimpse of what it would look like to live in Trujillo. And I’ll be honest: I liked it a lot. I am incredibly thankful for that church and for the time I spent with the people there and for everything else I did. I already miss it all. I feel like this summer has changed me. I feel like a different person. I feel like I know myself a little better and have grown a lot through a lot of hardship and change and new dreams.
Something I am so grateful for is being able to stay with my same host mamá, Elsa this year. I learned a lot more about her, and my Spanish has improved so much that I was able to tell her an entire story my last night in her house. I really loved coming home for lunch every day to be greeted with, “Hola, mi amor!” and having to deny her jokes that I had a “Peruvian love” because I kept eating dinner out with friends I had made in Trujillo. A memory in my life I will never forget is saying goodbye to Elsa last summer, as she and I sat in that taxi to the bus station, crammed in the back together. And this year, I will never, ever forget the night one of Elsa’s dear friends invited me and my four other roommates over to her place for dinner. And, of course, two of us just happen to be single…and looky there- her two sons are also single! Imagine that. So the buildup to that night was significant, as Elsa gave us the details about these “wonderful bachelors” days beforehand and also told us the specific outfits we should each wear- I was instructed to wear my “dress with the ponies”. The night came, and we finally arrived to the fancy, decked-out apartment of Elsa’s friend, all expecting something a little different than the reality of the situation. So this woman has two sons who are 25 and 30 years old. Apparently the 25 year-old was reserved for my other roommate, Chloe, and I was given…the 30 year-old? Who also happens to be an identical twin. So at least there’s that. It could have been a lovely dinner, expect for the fact that the 25 year-old decided to hide in his room the entire night, never to appear due to “not having the appropriate shoes”. The 30 year-old was polite enough to come out and utter two words, staring into the next room the entire 6 minutes he sat with us. Despite the fact that neither of her sons decided they wanted to join these 5 gringas and their Peruvian mom for dinner, the mother still insisted on making these matches work. After making conversation with only me and Chloe, we ate dinner and also the worst dessert any of us had ever encountered (an amazing roomie bonding experience!). We were then given the pleasure of gathering around their desktop computer to watch home videos and Facebook stalk her sons. I will say that this entire Peruvian matchmaking business is a new one for me, but my roommates and I all felt that maybe the Facebook stalking was a bit much! And their profiles, coupled with the knowledge that the boys were home and refused to see us, really showed us all that they are not exactly the marrying type at this point in their lives. Let’s just say I affectionately deemed them to both be a “man-child”! Haha. We all avoided one another’s stares that whole night because we knew that the moment we made eye contact, we would all burst out laughing. SUCH a funny night!!!!
I am now sitting in the Houston airport terminal, waiting for my flight to Chicago. As I continue to reflect on my time in Peru, I am just astounded by what an impact living and working in a different place for two months can make in a person’s life. I not only tapped some more into my adventurous, llama-loving side, but I also learned how I work in the administrative area of an organization. I learned a lot of new skills this summer, and I am so thankful for that! When I first arrived to Trujillo, I felt incredibly overwhelmed after my initial meeting with the volunteers and the other staff. When I learned that my main responsibilities would be to take care of the volunteers, talk with their worksite bosses and host families in Spanish, resolve conflicts, update the social media, and take public transportation to the various worksites to visit the volunteers, all I could think was, “Okay. I legitimately don’t know if I can do one of those things well”. I just sat there, wondering how long it would take before people realized I wasn’t fluent in Spanish or before they realized that I am a soft-spoken music major who doesn’t know anything about the other programs or how to take care of people my age and older. But you know what? I kept going and kept learning. I definitely had my moments of freaking out (basically, every time I was alone and away from everyone), but with encouragement and prayer, I put the fear aside and stepped up to the challenge. And I am so glad I did because I now know that I may have come into the program with the possibility of being the weakest coordinator, but I fought for it, did a good job, and felt a sense of fulfillment by the end. My Spanish greatly improved, and I worked with the volunteers and observed and documented them at their worksites. I loved interacting with each volunteer and investing in how they were all doing. Being a coordinator brought out my motherly side, and I was able to exercise some of that awesome motherly concern, care, and sternness I all learned from my one and only! J So not only was it a great summer of spiritual and emotional growth, but it was also a great time for me to learn some new skills and enhance older ones. It also made me realize how much of a musician and teacher I am. That is definitely my passion, and I can’t see doing any other thing with my life!
By the end of the session, all I craved was one last adventure, one last beautiful moment I could forever hold onto in my memory box of Peru. Therefore, I am so thankful I was able to spend my last weekend in a beautiful, quiet city in the Andes called Otuzco. Spending a day there was the perfect ending to my 10 weeks in Peru. That town is what I envision when I think of Peru- nestled in the mountains, speckled with flowing landscapes and incredible views from every angle. I actually ended up going by myself, so I took advantage of the alone time and made it a spiritual retreat. I took a van for the two-hour trip to Otuzco and spent the time looking out the window and praying. It was a very pleasant trip, until the road turned extremely windy the last twenty minutes and made two of the children in the car throw up. Thankfully, this is a common occurrence on this commute, and the driver was prepared with bags and toilet paper! Oh dear! After we got off, I walked toward the town, decked in hiking gear and carrying my backpack full of my books and snacks. I walked into an electronics store and asked the man if there was a mountain I could hike and a place I could see llamas. He said there were llamas in the town square just beyond the store and then asked what I wanted to see in the mountains. I just said, “Algo bonito.” Something beautiful. He looked a little confused by this vague answer, but he pointed me to the direction I should go, and I marched on. I walked through the square and saw the adorable llamas, went inside a famous cathedral and sat for a moment during their Mass, and I then turned in the direction I was directed to go and kept walking until I ended up at the top of a mountain. After walking through the cobblestone streets and climbing a hill, I found a rocky staircase that led up to the bottom valley area of a mountain. I pondered just sitting in the valley once I climbed to it, having already hiked for 30 minutes, but I decided that I wanted to take on this last challenge and hike another hour to the top of that mountain. Because Otuzco is in the Andes, the altitude is higher than I am used to, and it is also much hotter near in the mountains. So I was out of breath every step up I took up those stairs and up that mountain, but I cranked the worship music and kept going! Once I made it to the top, I found a very tall cement slab that had another cement slab sitting on top of it, so I climbed on it and used it as a little natural chair. I sat up on that mountain for two and a half hours and didn’t see a soul until I got back to the town. I absolutely love hiking and spending time in mountains, but I had never done it alone. Every time in the past when I had hiked a mountain, I had always wanted to just sit there and praise God for such a hard, beautiful world. But being shy and feeling weird about it, I could never fully express that when other people were with me. So I took advantage of this alone time with God and let it all out. I talked with Him for a good half an hour, just saying everything I needed to. I listened to the wind, I felt His Spirit speak to me and give me peace and promises of love, and I felt so cared for. Not only did He show me that He is in control of my life, even when it seems to be different than what I wanted, but He gave me mountains. He gave us this earth, and that just baffled me. I sat there staring at that landscape and felt a peace and clarity I hadn’t felt in a long time. Actually, before that day I was not sure I would had ever felt that feeling again. I read my Bible, journaled, and sang songs at the top of my lungs. No shame, no attempts to look socially appropriate. It was just me and my Savior. No person, no thought, no sadness or fear could win and intrude that. It was incredible. And I just knew that no matter what happens this year, no matter what happened last year or the years before, He would give me strength. He will get me through and provide me with unexpected blessings. And then I knew that I was ready to go back to Chicago, back to the stress, the pain of the past, the hardships of constantly trying to keep up with my music, social life, other classes, faith, jobs, and obligations. I heard Him say to me, “My grace is sufficient,” and, “If you wait for me, I will renew your strength and mount you up with wings like eagles”. After being fully present in that time, I realized how hungry and sunburned I was and hiked back down the mountain (which basically meant half-running, half-falling the entire time). I made it back to the main plaza without getting lost at all, ate some chocolate cake, and I boarded a van back to Trujillo. That random mountain in Peru will be one of those precious places that will always remind me of God’s sanctity and love, and I will try to hold onto all those truths.
It feels extremely strange to be back in America. Everyone is speaking English around me, people are much taller, there is cell phone reception, wifi, toilets that you can throw toilet paper into, and water you can drink without getting parasitosis. I miss the Peruvian culture. I miss hearing and speaking Spanish. I miss the amazing friends I made, both Peruvian and American. And I miss the mountains. But after an incredible, amazing opportunity of a lifetime to spend the summer in South America, I feel ready to begin a year full of big decisions. And after it all, I could see myself living in Trujillo. I could also see myself in Chicago, maybe LA, Baltimore, Philadelphia, Atlanta. It will all become clear, and I’m not afraid. My heart has healed a lot this summer, and I have seen new sides of myself. Another wonderful summer in Peru has come to a close, but I hope and pray I will be back to my home soon.

Let it Go

Wow, it has been a while since I have written! And so much has happened in my little South American adventure!
So my first session here has now ended, and my second and final session for the summer begins tomorrow as 5 new volunteers arrive to Trujillo in the morning! I'm excited to meet new volunteers and to have such a small group (classic introvert- need small groups, need small groups!!!), but I dearly miss the volunteers from last session. I made some great friendships with a lot of the people, and I am continuously amazed by the uniqueness of every human being on this planet. It's also crazy to me that people from all over the States can come together and bond so quickly while placed in a different country and culture for a month. I formed a close bond with girls who are in a very similar place in their lives as I am- getting ready for senior year, wondering about the future, going through relational hardships- and it is so comforting to have someone who can be there to listen and also legitimately say and mean, "I'm there, too. I understand". The way God created us to be in relationships with others is a true testimony to His love and desire to be in a relationship with us, which I am also continually reminded of as I have people loving on me, caring for me, cheering me on, and praying for me. So I am feeling very thankful for new friendships and for the potential of more, and I am also forever grateful for those old souls who have been in my life for a long time; I even sort of have this amazingly beautiful friend who knew me before I even existed in this world! And I've got to say that she has a pretty awesome twin. ;)
Today is not only significant because it is the eve of my last session for the summer, but today is also the day I returned from an incredible adventure in Ecuador!!! But let me back up and build some suspense.
Before Ecuador, I traveled to a beautiful city called Cajamarca with a group of volunteers during the last session. It was a great weekend trip, full of sightseeing, hiking, and good food. And soccer! Cajamarca is known for its rolling hills and its amazing dairy products, so I took advantage of both of those aspects. I saw ancient aqueducts and tombs used by the Incans, walked through a tiny cave, saw a NAKED PERUVIAN DOG, ate some incredible manjar, and- best of all- I pet COWS! Funny thing about the naked Peruvian dog sighting- I had seen a few of these dogs last year in ruins we walked through, but I had yet to have seen one this year. And then, lo and behold, my friend spotted one in the main plaza in Cajamarca, walking on a leash with her Peruvian owner! So we stopped the owner, a really nice girl who also miraculously spoke English, and pet her dog and took many selfies with it. It was incredible!!! Day made. However, this was topped later that day when a few of us went to a dairy farm during one of our tours just outside the city. After we rode horses across a bridge and walked through gorgeous gardens, we were able to go into a very tiny barn- full of cows. We all got so excited to enter this sea of cows who were all standing inches from us on either side, that we walked right into the barn. What I did not realize about cows, though, is that they like to chew. Anything. Especially sweaters and hair. So I have quite a few great pictures of my friends being grabbed by these crazed cows by the fur of their llama sweaters. So funny! I didn't dare go fully into that barn after I witnessed that. However, I decided it would be a great idea to get face-to-face with one just outside the barn for a picture. A friend took the picture of me and this cow, Clara, and just as I was done smiling for the picture, Clara attacked my hair with a vengeance and yanked as hard as her little rubbery nose would help her. I screamed, already picturing myself with this huge bald spot on the right side of my head, and pulled my hair from her ironclad mouth. Ouch. But that was totally worth it- when I looked at the picture later, I could see that she was just about to do that. The look of desperation in her eyes to eat my hair is entertaining enough to make it all comical. Besides that, I also attended a fútbol (soccer) game played between Cajamarca and Lima while I was visiting and then watched the World Cup Final the next day! So much fútbol. We also toured a zoo in Cajamarca that was nestled in a village built and habituated by a group of Christians. It was so beautiful there, especially because the land was decorated with the most majestic adornment of all- the llama. Well, a few friends and I got so overly obsessed about taking pictures with all the llamas that we got behind the rest of our tour group. After 20 minutes of llama photoshoot action, we realized that we were desperately lost and alone, and another girl and I (who is also a coordinator- it's just our natural instinct!) herded the others rapidly through the zoo so we could catch up with the group. We ended up passing all the other animals without stopping and were very proud of ourselves when we found the exit. Until we realized that our group wasn't there but was still inside. And they remained inside, looking at the monkeys, the jaguars, and whatever else was cool in there for the next 40 minutes. Oops. At least we felt a sense of efficiency at the time. Our last big excitement of the weekend was making the lovely discovery that four of the girls in our group who were staying in a different room got bed bugs...that was not a fun situation, but it is interesting because I was very close to choosing that room to sleep in. Phew!
The next weekend was also another adventurous one, in a different way. I took a bus for two hours with my Peruvian friend I met in orchestra last year, Paul, to a city called Chimbote and finally saw Peru's El Sistema methods at work! It was so great. I spent the whole day in Chimbote's cultural center, sitting in the cello sections with high schoolers as Paul conducted and led all the rehearsals- impressive! I then talked to the director, and she seemed thrilled to have me be their cello teacher for the last month I am here. So starting next weekend, here I come, Peruvian El Sistema! I can't wait to see how that goes and to get back into teaching. I miss the musical parts of my life!
And although I have been very busy working and also having lots of fun, I have found some time to make music. There was a fellow music performance major here last session, and he and I put together a little recital for the other volunteers our last week all together. Miraculously enough, it ended up being a hit!!! He plays french horn, so we found an interesting contemporary duet to play together, and I then played cello duets with two other people who happened to play cello- a volunteer and VivePeru's director! It was so fun. After that, the volunteers wanted to hear more...and let's be honest, I really missed playing, so I kept going. It was a really cool experience to play for a mostly musically-uneducated audience and see the music from their perspective. I played the preludes to the first and fifth Bach suites and asked everyone both times to turn off the lights and close their eyes as I played. And then afterwards we talked about different images or emotions that came to mind as the music flowed. I really loved it because even though the prideful part of me wants it to be all about me and "my talent", it was more about this beautiful creation- the language of music- and how it can change how we feel, how we see things, how we view moments in life. And I love educating people about that and opening their eyes to that because I know we are all capable of feeling it and really hearing the music- not just the notes, but the music. So that was a very special performance for me!
The volunteers from the session all left for Machu Picchu later that week, and as they bussed to Lima to catch their flight, my roommate, Lia and I bussed to Ecuador!!! So, why Ecuador? How did this happen?! Well, my bosses told me I would have about five days off in between the two sessions and that I could do whatever I pleased. I thought about many hypothetical situations- I could go back to Huaráz, a city surrounded by glaciers I went to last year. I could try to make it to the Amazon and finally hold a monkey. I could sleep and watch Netflix and hang out in Trujillo by myself for a week (which seemed to be my only option for a while)...or I could travel north by bus and find adventure in Ecuador! And thankfully, my roommate is also staying for this last session, and she was also on board with this idea. So Lia and I embarked on our incredible adventure to Baños, Ecuador- a beautiful, gorgeous tourist town full of amazing activities- on Thursday night. And we arrived there Saturday morning. Rough. We ended up taking two buses and four taxis and traveled for 30 hours total, each way. Talk about a long couple of days! But thankfully, the traveling went smoothly both on the way there and back! We crossed the border and went through immigration, got to our amazing hostel (seriously- if you ever go to Baños, stay at Hostal Erupción! And GO TO BAÑOS!), and began our few days of bucket-list-type adventures. Baños is not only beautiful and safe, but it has many thrilling activities that are also very cheap. So after this past week, I have now seen many beautiful waterfalls, gone ziplining multiple times, cascaded down a waterfall by rope (and nearly drowned...oopsies), swung into clouds and mountains, been near an active volcano, bungee jumped, and I may or may not have been hit on by a couple Ecuadorians...haha! Oh South America. I also spent many special moments with the precious hostel bulldog, Google. He was so cute and cuddly!!! I really loved meeting a lot of other people from different places in Baños. I talked with people from New Zealand, France, Germany, Ireland, southern Illinois, and Michigan! Those Illinois and Michigan people...so exotic! I actually went ziplining with a group of Michiganders, which was sort of a strange experience- of all the people to meet in Ecuador, I ended up talking with these people about Hope College and University of Michigan (sorry, Dad- GO BUCKS!)! After pumping so much adrenaline for three days straight, it all caught up to me in a bad way. I have been sick to my stomach for the past three days now, which really made those two days of travel back to Trujillo extra thrilling. Especially since you are not allowed to use the bathroom for...that type of waste...on either of the buses I was on! A bit graphic, but it's just too awful to not admit. It was a tough 30 hours of travel back. That, coupled with the Psycho/Saw-esque hostel Lia and I spent our 12-hour layover in as we waited for our second bus, really made me eager to get home! I was so tired from our fun excursions and from being sick that I ended up sleeping on that nasty hostel floor on top of a tiny towel. I have yet to find any disturbing bugs crawling on me or in my clothes, so I think I'm okay! Totally worth it. Besides discovering that I can pretty much fall asleep anywhere- be it in a hostel fit for a horror movie, a bus station sitting up, a bus, a taxi...I have also returned to Trujillo having learned something new about myself: I have a very adventurous spirit. I guess I should have deduced that after I decided to fly to South America on my own and live with a bunch of strangers for the first time last summer and then decided to fly to South America on my own and take care of a bunch of strangers this summer, but I didn't fully see that this is something unique within me. Not everyone has this desire to see the world, to meet people from different places, to experience new cultures in a hands-on way, and to do crazy-risky things that some may call "dangerous". I didn't know that I was an adrenaline junkie, that I would love staying in hostels and becoming friends with random strangers from all over the world, that I would be open to eating new foods that at some point could have been my pet, or that I would be willing to travel long periods of time to spend a few days in a piece of paradise. I really saw those things blossom within me last summer, and they have grown even stronger this summer. And it excites me. That might not seem like a big deal, but it's huge when you have another person with your same exact DNA. Being a twin is amazing, as I mentioned earlier how thankful I am for my zygote, Rachel, but it has also impacted me a lot. Because we always spent every moment together, doing the same things growing up, I got used to having an identical clone. Before college, both Rachel and I can attest that it felt like we were just two copies of the same VHS tape. And although it bothered us at times, although we craved for our own identities, neither she nor I knew what that meant. I literally did not know what it meant to be Ruth. I always heard "Rachel" paired with my name. "The Hogle twins" was our nickname, and we hated it but also didn't know what else we could or should be. And yet by high school graduation, Rachel and I both felt that this craving for independence was stronger than our shared fear of figuring life out without each other. And so we split up. I blew up Chicago, and she took over Cleveland. And freshman year- well, that was a hot mess. Talk about crying everywhere- my dorm room, the dorm lounge, practice rooms (my personal favorite, since DePaul's practice rooms are completely see-through! Where else am I supposed to have my "me time" to have a breakdown in privacy?! Not cool.), outside, inside, everywhere. We were both messes living without one another. But it wasn't just that. We were also just falling apart because neither of us had ever known how to stand on our own- how to be our own. Suddenly, I was just Ruth. I wasn't known as someone's twin anymore. And every time Rachel and I came together since our split, people began to point out new differences. And that terrified me. It terrified her. Eventually, however, we did what I'm assuming most singletons (non-twins) do around the time they hit puberty- we both began to embrace our separate and growing identities. I literally entered college having no idea who I was, except for the memorized facts I had already stored in my brain about myself. So the past three years have really been a huge, HUGE time of growth for both of us as we find out who we both are. And it's still scary a lot of the time. It's the continual double-edged sword: you don't want to be the same because you want to feel unique and special, but it's terrifying to be different because that means people see differences in you that usually equate to one being the "better" version of the other. It's rough. But in all of that, Rachel and I are still learning to embrace our differences and cherish our similarities. For me, Peru has been a tremendous time for growth and identity-finding. I now know that I love learning Spanish (thank goodness, since I still have a lot to learn!). I love traveling, and I can even do it on my own and not feel lonely or scared. I am a newfound adrenaline junky. I love teaching music. I love meeting people from different places. And I can be very strong and independent if I need to be. I learned all those things about myself after spending these two summers here. What a treasure! It's definitely been very difficult and will remain hard as my differences with Rachel will increase, but it's such a gift to discover myself in such a profound and unique way. And I am so grateful to have spent this time in Peru in such a pivotal point in my life. It will forever impact me, as it has mainly taught me that God gave me the most special gift He could give me- another human who understands me and loves me in a way I will never experience with anyone else. And still- better yet!- a separate identity in Him. My own name, my own personality traits, my own dreams, my own timeline, my own path. It's thrilling! So here's to another month of self-discovery.
Hi. My name is Ruth, and I love opening my eyes to see what the world holds.

Walking Through the Tunnel

I can't fully believe that I have already been in Peru for over two weeks. It feels so normal now! However, the first week of work did go by pretty slowly last week, so I am wondering if every week will feel like that!
The work week was not as difficult as I had prepared myself for it to be, which was awesome. When I got here, I was feeling pretty nervous to be a coordinator, not knowing exactly how I would handle the new responsibilities and the different feel from last year. However, I have been enjoying my position a lot so far. I have been able to see a lot of behind-the-scenes work that goes into running a non-profit of this nature, and it is super fascinating to me. There is just so much to constantly think about to keep things afloat! It's crazy to me! I have been learning more about how to make sure the volunteers feel comfortable and heard and also more about how to use social media to spread interest in our program and keep people informed. With that, I have been taking many, many pictures of the volunteers doing various things, and I have been really happy to have a reason to consistently engage in one of my favorite hobbies!
I have been getting to know a lot of the volunteers pretty well, which I really love. I spent an entire morning with three of the girls in the program who are all teaching English in a school, which was so great! I loved helping participate in their planning for teaching kids different animals, phrases, and colors and watching them as they executed it in the classroom. I just really love teaching, and I feel so comfortable in a classroom full of little 6-10 year-olds, so I loved helping! We have also had quite a few volunteers come down with really bad diarrhea (sorry- got to say it!) and nausea because of being in a different country with unclean water, so I have become very comfortable with listening to everyone's various bowel problems. I'm basically an expert in the matter now, so call me any time. Actually, please don't....haha.
When I have not been working in the office or attending the different classes and planning sessions the volunteers have, I have been sleeping, watching some Netflix (the options on Netflix in Peru are SO much better than the States'!), meeting up with friends from last year, and practicing my cello (or at least thinking about it...). I also attended my first Bible study in Spanish last week, which was so great! It was such a blessing because there is another Midwesterner American here for the summer who is fluent in Spanish, so she helped translate some things, and we were able to talk a little. I could understand about 85% of what was said during the study, though! My Spanish is definitely getting better each day.
After the long week of work, I spent the weekend in a beach town two hours from Trujillo, called Pacasmayo. It was a great weekend! We stayed in a great hostel, ate delicious food, tanned on the beach (I actually tanned a little bit!), walked around the town, and ran in the marathon! And when I say "ran in the marathon", I mean that everyone else in my group ran. And then four of us sort of walked most of it, if not all of it. I showed up to the race fully pumped to run my second 5K, but I was also aware that I hadn't been exercising at all since being here and had been eating almost nothing but carbs and manjar blanco! So I attempted to run for a while, got tired and dizzy, tried again, had chest pain, and eventually gave up- the usual. I finally found another friend halfway through, and we talked and walked the rest of the way. We both sprinted to the finish line and legitimately finished our 5K as another guy in our group crossed the finish line for his 10K run...oops. We still beat him. It was definitely worth it and was super cool to take part in! But I really do miss running consistently! One part of the weekend that I loved, besides laying on the beach under the warmth of the sun, was when two friends and I walked through a cemetery close to the beach for a little while. The cemetery was beautifully designed, with gardens and flowers hanging on many gravestones, and we walked through it just as the sun was beginning to set over the ocean directly below. With the cool air sweeping around us as we lightly talked about life and death, it just hit me how many people are cared for in this world. See, as I get older, I'm starting to see how painful life is. I can see it in others' lives and hearts, and I can see that same dark pain in my own heart as I look at the world with slightly dimmer eyes as the years pass. I know I'm young and that I am still so naive, but that veil of unending hope and joy from childhood has definitely been torn, and I see a little clearer how this life works. And honestly, it's really hard. It's hard to feel happy and stay happy. It's hard to wake up feeling excited about your day, even if you're in the most beautiful place in the world with the people you love the most. I used to worry that there was something wrong with me, that this feeling wasn't normal. But whenever I talk to friends about it or family members (especially those who are older), I find that I'm not alone. So I am trying to accept the true fact that life isn't great all the time, that sometimes I will feel sad for no reason or when something terrible really hurts me. But the important part is to search for the beauty in those times and in the moments when things are okay. Even if it is for a few minutes. So walking through that cemetery, thinking about how all I really want is to make an impact in a few lives at least and be loved, gave me a little bit of hope.
And while I wasn't sure if I would ever share this part on my blog, I have discovered the past few days that being open and honest can be really healing for myself and for others. So I will say that I felt incredibly thankful to return to Peru this summer to see many beautiful things, but I also could not wait to return because I was hoping a change of scenery could provide great healing after a really hard break-up. And although I am sure that it would have been much harder to go through this process at home with nothing to do, it has definitely not been easy. There is a lot of pain that has been plaguing me here, which is really frustrating to me because all I honestly want is to go back to how I was last year- excited, positive, ready for every day, and happy with my life. I don't think I ever woke up or fell asleep one day last summer with the sadness or distress I feel now, and that really hurts to think about. But I think I am still so engulfed in the feelings that I can't see the necessity of it all. I'm not sure why certain things had to happen this year, but I have to believe (even if I really, truly don't believe it right now at all) that there was a good purpose, that there was and is a good God behind all of it. I am going to try to take a new approach from here on out and be more honest with people about how I'm doing, by really trying to run to God and let Him take my broken heart, and also to not pressure myself to be who I was last year. This is a stage in my life that will pass (hopefully sooner than later!), and it's not who I am. My identity is not in being single or taken, hurt or stable. I need to give Jesus my heart in this and keep walking forward, one dragging step at a time. With that, I am so grateful to have my sisters and friends who speak so much love and wisdom to me and my new friends here who are willing to meet me in such a fragile place at this time in my life. I really have a problem with being honest because I want to seem strong and put-together all the time, but who is actually strong and put-together all the time?! No one! So I need to give that up, and this is all part of that process. So I don't want this pain to take over every moment that I'm in Peru, but it's definitely part of my experience here. There is also light that is present in every darkness and hope in every hopeless situation, and his name is Jesus. So I'm going to try to hold onto Him, even if it just means whispering that I trust Him when my heart doesn't believe it. I have also noticed that as I have opened up to girls about this here, I discovered that most people at this point in our lives have experienced similar pain, and it is really healthy to be able to share with others and encourage one another. There is a lot of healing in being vulnerable, even when you're terrified to show people that you're a hot mess. I am a hot mess right now, but that's okay!! I know I have learned some valuable things from this unwanted heartache.
As this week begins, I want to savor any moments of peace, joy, and fulfillment I feel. I want to try to be present, to accept what I can't change, to pray like no other, and to focus more on my present life and nothing else. I have decided to apply for a class at a nearby college in Chicago to take a year-long course about El Sistema, the methodology I use to teach, and I am very excited to experience that! I have also been asked to take over DePaul's IAmDePaul Instagram account for this week, and they also want me to start writing on DePaul's DeBlog in the Fall, so I will keep you all updated on that!! But follow IAmDePaul on Instagram or check out my Facebook for all my pictures of Peru. :)
So, my lessons of the week? Life is hard. Pain is deep. Some people will unfathomably hurt you, but other people are always there to amazingly love you, encourage you, and hold you. Seek the Truth of Jesus' unending love, and hold onto that for dear life. And play with animals and hike if nothing else works. ;)

New beginnings!

Buenas noches from Peru! I have arrived to Trujillo, my home for the next two months, and am all settled in and ready to start work tomorrow morning!
I landed in Lima last Saturday and was automatically reunited with one of the main people on staff (whom I love!) as soon as I left the baggage claim. From there, I spent the next two days helping pick up the other volunteers for VivePeru and getting to know them as we explored the city a little bit. We stumbled upon a ceremony in honor of the Eucharist in the main plaza downtown, which was really cool to see! I really love how much the Catholic faith is integrated into Peruvian culture. It is so important to them, which I can totally relate to! I have also gotten into running this past year and met a running partner from my program in Lima, so she and I were able to run along the Pacific coast twice the two days we were there! It reminded me a lot of my runs I love doing to Lake Michigan in Chicago, but it was so much cooler!! It will also help prepare me for the 5K I signed up to run in a nearby city, Pacasmayo next weekend. :)
After spending a couple of days in Peru's capital city, we bussed overnight to Trujillo. All I can say is Peruvians know how to travel- their busses are very comfortable! The seats can lean almost all the way flat, and each passenger is provided with a blanket, a pillow, cookies, juice, and tea!! Amazing! So after that comfortable bus ride that we all slept through, I was reunited with my host family once again and went back to bed for a few hours. It is so nice to return to a place that I haven't been to for a while because it reminds me of what has changed and what has not. It is crazy to think that an entire year has passed, that I am now about to turn 21 and enter my senior year of college. And yet being back in this house, seeing my old room- it makes it feel like nothing has changed. And sometimes, when a lot of change has happened in one year and more change is to come, that is a huge comfort!
Since my arrival here, I have been able to revisit some familiar parts of Trujillo. I remembered how to walk to the VivePeru office (which is about half a mile away) my first time back, which for me is a huge accomplishment! I have also revisited all the amazing souvenir shops downtown and have already begun my shopping...oh dear! Save us all. :P
I spent the end of my week learning more about my role as a coordinator with VivePeru and with helping the volunteers travel to and from their worksites. Something that will be a very interesting and educational experience for me is that a big part of my job is to visit all the hospitals my volunteers are working in to check in and see how things are going. There are 9 in Trujillo that I will be visiting throughout the week, so I will be able to see many different clinics and hospitals! I'm excited to learn more about the medical profession and maybe even see something cool!
Another main part of my job is to build relationships with everyone I'm working with and be their go-to person if they have any problems or need help with something. I am really excited about that part because I love getting to know everyone and being the one who can help them. Just as it was last year, I feel that each person here is so unique and interesting. The groups that volunteer with this organization always seem so positive, helpful, and wonderful to be around. I have actually discovered that there are some fellow Christians in the group too, which is always encouraging because I get to talk to people with whom I already have a strong connection right away. But I am really enjoying getting to know every person, and I feel that each one has something special to offer Peru. I'm excited to see what happens the next month with them and then with other new volunteers the month after!!
This weekend was very relaxing, as I napped and watched movies and spent time at Huanchaco, the nearby beach town. I also attended a Presbyterian church with friends of friends this morning, which was wonderful! Did I understand half of what was said? NOPE. But I definitely got the gist of it haha. It really helps that I am familiar with the way Presbyterian services go and with the Bible in general, but I never realized how quickly people say the Lord's Prayer until I tried doing it in a language I am not fluent in...goodness gracious! I think God would enjoy it just as much if we slowed it down a little!!!! I am really excited because I am going to try to get involved in a small group with the church, and I would love that fellowship! But funny story (but not really)...I got totally lost on the way to church this morning. I always do this! My friends with whom I went to church had told me where the church was, and I was pretty sure I knew where they were talking about. However, I am pretty directionally-challenged (I seriously think a part of my brain is missing...), so I decided to look it up on Google Maps. Well, I guess Trujillo isn't as well mapped on Google because it directed me to a completely different part of town than where I was expecting. So instead of walking 5 minutes to the place that I was already familiar with, I ignored my gut instinct and followed the directions from Google and ended up walking thirty minutes away from where I should have been in a...not-so-great part of town. I wandered around there and found the street the church should have been on, but of course it wasn't there! So here I am, all dressed up for church and looking the whitest a gringo could, also looking obviously lost. It seemed like there were groups of men standing outside, looking at me on every corner, and I just got super freaked out and avoided them at all costs. I eventually called my friend and ended up taking a taxi back to the place I had instinctively thought to go. Classic Ruth. But I made it and was only three minutes late to the service! Boom. I am very thankful that God protected me, though, because I know that could have been a bad situation.
Besides that eventful morning, I was able to see my friends surf this afternoon and enjoy the beautiful weather! It has been pretty warm here- around the 70's, which is my favorite temperature! It is strange how cold it gets in the morning and night and then how hot it is during the day. So bipolar!
We begin our first official work week tomorrow, so I am excited to take up more coordinator duties. And so begins the crazy, clumsy adventures of Ruth Hogle in Peru, take two!!!

I'm back!!

I could not be more excited to write this first post of my next Peruvian summer (or I guess, winter, since that's what it will actually be there!). I have been reading through my posts from last summer the past couple of weeks to get excited about my return to Trujillo this summer, and I am so thrilled and thankful that I will be experiencing everything once again just a year later. I say "just a year", but it has actually been quite the year. I completely finished my junior year at DePaul just last Friday- I do not think I have ever felt so run down and ready to finish a school year! But through the literal grace and goodness of God, I pulled through and finished strongly. And now I am just hanging around Chicago until I fly from O'Hare to Houston and then Lima this Saturday! I can't believe it- 5 more days.
Although I am excited to go back to Peru, stay with the same amazing host family (YAY!), and travel to many of the same places, I know that some things will be different this time. First of all, I now know what to expect, which takes away a lot of the fear and just heightens my excitement. Also, I will be returning to work with VivePeru as an in-country coordinator (I'll explain what that entails in a second). But really, I feel like I have been through a lot this past year and am returning to Peru as someone who understands a little more about the hardships and pains of life, as someone who appreciates the beauty of life more, and as someone who feels a stronger sense of purpose and calling than I ever had before. Based on where I have been emotionally and spiritually this year, my trip to Peru could not come at a better time. And I know that it was meant to be this way.
I am really stoked to be an in-country coordinator with VivePeru. The in-country coordinators serve as a primary contact for the volunteers in each city to ensure that each volunteer has the best possible experience, while caring for their physical health and safety. They assist the staff in carrying out all program related activities, including leading orientation sessions and escorting volutneers to their worksites the first week. They also fulfill any task the director needs them to do. So I was able to refine my music teaching skills some last summer, and now I am excited to learn more about administrative tasks and leading others. I am really eager to further develop those skills! Those responsibilities will take up most hours each week day, so I won't be able to teach and sit in during the Trujillo Symphony rehearsals during the weekdays, unfortunately. However, I am hoping to still remain in contact with the musicians and students there and help out if I can. I also discovered that there is another wonderful program in Trujillo called Arpegio Peru (http://arpegioperu.jimdo.com/english-entrance/), and it is based off of El Sistema methods! I am really wanting to get involved there and teach on the weekends, if at all possible.
I will also be staying in Peru for my entire summer- from June 21st to September 1st! I start my senior year on September 10th, so I will fly back into Chicago with just enough time to settle back into American culture and rest up for my final year of college. I remember writing last summer that it was the best one I had ever experienced- I am hoping I will walk away from this summer with a similar feeling, but not just because I will be feeling fulfilled and happy over the amazing experiences I will have had. This summer is also a big one for me, as I am now thinking deeply on a daily basis where I see myself after graduation. As I've grown more as a musician and as a teacher this year, there are a few ideas and dreams bouncing around inside. But one secret dream that I'm now letting become not-so-secret (and actually, it may be fairly obvious at this point!) is something I have been getting swept up in many moments this year- I sort of think it would be incredible to move to Peru after graduation and keep working with VivePeru and teaching cello with the El Sisema program! Right now, I am seriously considering if that's where I am feeling called. I believe we are all called to certain jobs, places, and people, but we don't always choose that path. It's just so funny because just last year around this time, I would have never dreamt of something so big. My biggest and scariest dream was to stay in Chicago and audition for orchestras and teach. And that is a huge dream and difficult path as well. But picking up everything and moving to a different continent? Thousands of miles away from all loved ones and all familiarity? That's pretty terrifying. And exhilirating!!!! Living in Peru really brought out my adventurous side. I realized that I don't want to settle into a comfortable job that I don't love but that I know will pay the bills and afford me nice material things. What do I really want, if I let myself ask it? I really want to help change the lives of kids and adults in underdeveloped neighborhoods, cities, and countries. I don't want to achieve fame and glory so I can sit back and bask in my greatness as a cellist. I want to be bold- to not be afraid to dare to go where God wants me. And who knows? Maybe I will see throughout my time this summer that He has called me to get my Master's in music performance and audition for orchestras. Maybe I will see that He has called me to teach in the United States and pursue a degree or job. But I don't ever want to be afraid to open the door of my dreams because I'm scared that I won't be good enough, that I will end up being super unsuccessful and ineffective, or that I won't feel fulfilled and happy about the sacrifices I had to make to achieve them. So I am placing this summer in God's hands and am constantly praying over it all. I have faith that it will be revealed to me in time, and I am very excited for whatever lies ahead, no matter how hard it will be.
I have been trying to prepare myself mentally for this great trip in these ways as well as physically. I have been practicing my Spanish on Duolingo (great app!!), so I am hoping I won't be as rusty this time around. I also started packing yesterday, which took me three hours...so if that is any indication of how much stuff I am bringing, you don't even need to see the huge mountain of shirts and dresses engulfing my suitcase to take pity on me. Looking on the positive side, that gives me a fun project to keep working on as I continue to eliminate half of what I packed! Besides that, my goals of this week are to go to Lake Michigan at least once every day and catch up on sleep before my great trek! Here is to another summer full of new friends (because unforunately, none of my friends from last year are returning!), new and familiar hikes, beautiful music and memories, and...LLAMAS!!!!!

Momento de decir "Adiós"

So I have this idea I tend to live by when I have to leave a place or a person I really love. I think that if I just don’t talk about that amazing experience from my past, if I just ignore that it has already happened and finished, I can trick myself into thinking that I am still in that memory I so crave to hold onto. So it’s really difficult for me to write this and go against my nature, because I know that it will be my last post written from Peru (at least this year!), and I know that my time teaching music for a month here has finally reached its double bar (well, at least I can still make geeky music jokes), but I also know that if I write about my last days in Peru, I will be able to hold onto a part of these wonderful memories for many years to come.

So, a couple days after I wrote my last blog post, I got a cold. It crept up on me like a very desperate thief in the night: I woke up my last morning in Trujillo feeling feverish and exhausted. From there, I have progressed through many wonderful stages in the thrilling life of a sickness: the constantly-runny nose, the not-being-able-to-breathe/ breathing out of my mouth stage (now that was attractive), the sore throat, the headaches and pressure on my sinuses, and for the encore, the enticing husky voice that comes from coughing way too much and making too many squealing noises (I can’t help that last one- it’s in my nature, especially when llamas are involved). So I sound pretty ridiculous right now, and that’s been entertaining. It has also been super fun to fly four times in the past few days and be in varying levels of elevation. My sinuses and head are loving me right now! ;) But sickness or not, these have been some crazy-awesome last few days here.

So I said goodbye to my Trujillo Symphony family on Thursday, and only a Peruvian orchestra would wish someone farewell the way they did. I had told the director a few days before that Thursday would be my last day in rehearsal. He raised his eyebrows, cracked a huge grin and said, “Ohhhhh. We will do something!”. Something I love about the people of Peru is that they will take any excuse to party. Who cares what it is or how long it will take? It’s going to happen, and it will usually involve music, food, and dancing. So I showed up to my last rehearsal on Thursday morning, camera in hand to document my last day, and curious to see what would go down. Everything was seemingly normal. I said hello to my cello buddies, sat down, tuned when the oboe gave its A. I will be honest- I was disappointed when the director put up his arms to begin conducting the first piece on our rehearsal schedule for the day. And then he gave the downbeat, and the whole orchestra broke out playing “Happy birthday” in unison. Everyone was beaming and staring straight at me, and the director motioned with his free hand for me to stand up. Red-faced and very confused yet amused, I stood up and just took it all in. Everyone was laughing and playing their hearts out for me…as if it were actually my birthday. That was the part that really stuck me as strange but also made me laugh extremely hard. It’s not my birthday! Granted, I do turn 20 in a couple weeks, but…I do know for a fact that the Peruvian and the American calendar in regards to how many days are in a month are the same. There was no way it was August 11^th. So when everyone stopped playing, and they all clapped profusely, I did a gracious curtsy and sat down. Then my two friends sitting on either side of me immediately turn to me. “I didn’t know it was your birthday!” says one. “Es tu cumpleaños?!” asks the other. And I just put my head down, attempting to laugh quietly because we are actually rehearsing the piece this time. “No, it’s not. I’m really confused!” I say. And one friend just joins in the laughter of the absurdity. It was a beautiful moment. I sat in the rehearsal pondering why people thought it was my birthday or whether that is just the song they do to celebrate someone leaving, but I was all-the-more confused when masses of people came up to me during the break and said, “Felicidades!”, “Congratulations!”, “Feliz cumpleaños!”. For a while I just thanked them because I didn’t quite know how to respond. They seemed super excited that they were able to help partake in the celebration of the day of my birth. I eventually talked to the director (who had told everyone before I showed up to rehearsal that it was my birthday and told them to play for me) who raised his eyebrows once again (that seems to be a common expression for him!) and exclaimed, “It’s NOT your birthday?! I thought that is what you told me!”. I still do not know what happened or how he thought he got that from me…I will never know, but I am so glad it happened. It brightened my entire day and made me and my orchestra friends laugh every time someone new came up to me, kissing my cheek, and wishing me a happy birthday. That moment of standing up, surrounded by these wonderful people who love to celebrate life with music and laughter, will forever by engrained in my mind. So after that wonderful moment and the many funny candids I took of people in the middle of rehearsal, I got one last group shot with the ensemble, hugged and kissed everyone goodbye, taught my last two lessons, and headed back to my homestay to finish packing up for Lima.

I had my usual struggle of fitting everything into my two large suitcases, my backpack, and a large tote bag (yeah, I know…), enlisted my roommates’ help, took pictures with my host family, hugged and kissed them many times, and boarded an overnight bus to Lima with everyone else in my program. It was really emotional to see everyone saying goodbye to his or her host family, and it was very hard to say goodbye to my own without feeling like they were my real family. I loved Elsa and her daughter-in-law, Selena. They were so wonderful. Another moment I will never forget is cuddling with Elsa in the taxi on the way to the station. My baggage took up three seats in the taxi cab (yeah, I know again…), so Elsa and I squeezed together into one seat in the back. I put my arm around my tiny, adorable host mother, and she held my hand as we drove. I told her how grateful I was that she was my mom, and we shared our last words together. It was the perfect way to say goodbye.

We arrived to Lima the following morning, and a group of us set out to the Lima zoo to see llamas, interesting birds, monkeys, and some pretty cool cats. We had a great time walking around, having contests about who could take a better picture of the lion between the bars of his large cage (let’s just say my friends were not pleased with the good quality of my pictures in that moment!), and eating churros. That night, I repacked my bags so that I only had to bring my backpack and my smaller of the two suitcases to Cusco for the next 2.5 days, showered, and happily went to bed early to sleep off the feverish feeling of exhaustion I had fought all day.

We flew from Lima to Cusco the next morning in three different groups of flights. I was fortunate enough to not be on the flight that required people to wake up at 3 am, yet I still felt very tired by the time we arrived to our hostel. We had a great room with a kitchen and beds for five people, so my roommates and I plopped our things down and rested until the tour we all had a few hours later. We toured around Cusco by a guide and saw many great things…but yet we were all incredibly tired and grumpy the entire afternoon. Several of us have looked back on that dark day with regret and shame, feeling sorry for our poor tour guide who had to drag around 30 moody, whiny, unengaged Americans. But we got through it, and I am very glad we got to see some historical places and some really beautiful parts of the city. And the part of the day that made ALL OF IT worth it…I got pictures with a llama, folks. I had taken pictures with llamas prancing in the background in the wild, but this was one of those llamas that is all clean and fluffy, dressed up and decorated for crazy tourists like me to have a photo shoot with. I hugged the llama as it smiled at me, and it was the softest, best thing I had ever hugged (sorry, Mom and Dad). We had a strong friendship bond that is completely apparent in our pictures together. I am so glad I now have this memorable token of the time we shared together (for about 2 minutes…that I had to pay to do…but let’s just indulge in some good old-fashioned Freudian repression and stuff that way down into the psyche). So that rocked. My next favorite part of that day was the nighttime. Some people were very adamant about pushing through the exhaustion to go out and partake in the festivities held in celebration of Peru’s Independence Day, which happened to be that day. Others were just grannies and slept. And by “others”, I really just mean me and my four friends. We found a tv channel in English, watched some disturbingly fascinating reality tv show as I gave a few of the girls massages because many of us were in pain from the heavy bags we all mistakenly packed (I have been proposed to by multiple of my girl friends from the program due to my supposed “wicked” massage skills. My VivePeru “clients” claim I have a great fallback if music doesn’t work out!), got one massage in return, and headed to bed at 9:30 pm. Oh, yes.

The next day we took a train to Aguas Calientes, the town at the base of Machu Picchu. We all met in the town square to walk to the train station together late at night, and one of the cutest dogs I have seen in Peru waddled through our group for some attention and love as we waited to leave. Naturally, I got very excited and started to pet her (she was clean and looked normal, so don’t worry! And I never got rabies from any dog I may have pet, so everyone should be proud.), while everyone else backed away in fear that she would attack someone. But I continued to pet her until it was time to walk half a mile to the station. As we pulled our bags across the street and headed down a dark alley (scary?!), the dog started to follow us. And no joke, she would wander off for a second and would then be walking right beside me, within a hand’s grasp. My friends and I affectionately named her Petunia, in honor of my wonderful deceased rat (rest in peace, little Petunia!), and she followed us the whole way to the station. But the even more amazing part was, whenever a man would be heading toward our group, Petunia and another dog that was walking with us would go and bark and attack the man. At first we thought it was just a coincidence. But then they proceeded to do that every single time we passed a man. They didn’t do anything to women, just the men. And then one of my friends pointed out that she and the other dog were protecting us. They followed our group the entire way, scared off any “threat” they thought could harm us (and even though it was unpleasant to watch, it was pretty funny to see these poor guys’ faces when the dogs came toward them- they all got a good workout in when they bolted from those barking dogs!). I didn’t realize how much of an animal lover I was until I came to Peru, and I think it is because there are so many stray animals running around and a lot of cute, different ones I don’t often see. So everyone knows me as the girl who is obsessed with llamas and naked Peruvian dogs and then any other animal we see. I like it, and I think my amazing veterinarian sister’s heart for animals has rubbed off on me- thanks, Rebecca!! So I said goodbye to Petunia (yes, I get that attached to things that can’t talk to me and don’t have my thumbs) and boarded the train to Aguas Calientes. But as we went from Lima to Cusco to Aguas Calientes, I began to feel more and more homesick for Trujillo. Trujillo is full of genuine, kind, authentic Peruvians. And Lima has some of those, but it is more busy, cold and polluted, and more touristy. But I had never seen so many fellow gringos in Peru until I got to Cusco. Then I got to Aguas Calientes and Machu Picchu, and that record was broken once again. I realized that after being immersed in the culture and living the life of a Peruvian for the past month, I could not stand being associated with, or being known as a tourist. It drove me crazy. And all I wanted to do was be back in a small city with people who came up to me, speaking Spanish at an extraterrestrial-type speed without even thinking, “Hey. She definitely isn’t from here. Maybe she doesn’t speak the same language I do”. But I loved that so much. It grieved me to not be around that anymore. So I felt very sad that my Trujillo days had come to a close, and when you add lack of sleep, having a cold in high elevation, freezing cold showers two days in a row, lack of wifi even though it was promised, and traveling with the same people for three days straight, you get one grumpy, passive aggressive Ruth. Yeah, I had to take quite a few moments to breathe and was mostly okay, but those hard times of annoyance came like tidal waves every few hours or so for everyone those last couple days in Aguas Calientes, Cusco, and Lima.

One memory I hope to never forget: haggling with merchants over souvenirs with friends who are very outspoken and a little rude at times! The souvenirs in Cusco and Machu Picchu were much more expensive than those in Trujillo because all the tourists flock there, and they of course don’t realize that they are being charged almost twice as much because they are foreigners. However, out group knew that going into Cusco, so when we would ask a merchant in their booth-tent how much an item would cost, and they would say “40 soles” when it’s usually “20 soles”, we would exclaim in shock that that is ridiculous and walk away. Yes, it was sometimes rude, but it was also pretty hilarious. We had a shop owner try to sell us an alpaca sweater for 70 soles, but she assumed we didn’t speak Spanish and was telling us the cost in English. Well, we couldn’t understand her, so we thought she said 17 soles and were mad at ourselves for having bought similar sweaters for 35 soles elsewhere. Then we said the price back to her in Spanish and realized that she had said 70, the price TWICE as much as the usual price for this item, and we all just said, “Oh my gosh, no!” in disgust and walked away. Oh, the feeling of being ripped off is so bittersweet. Mostly just bitter. But we all still indulged a little in these ridiculously high prices eventually because some of us still needed to buy some gifts for other people! So we contributed our share. ;)

Although Machu Picchu was plagued with tourists in a way that is comparable to all ten of the plagues on Egypt combined, it was one of those wonders I will never forget seeing. That place is stunning, out-of-this-world, eye-popping, amazing. Whoa. Our group first hiked up Waynu Picchu, a mountain that overlooks the ruins of Machu Picchu once at the top, and that hike was beautiful (and not too hard- praise the Lord!). We even climbed through two tiny caves to get to the top, walked through some forest, walked up many steps made in the rocks (my legs are still as wobbly as jelly), and saw other ruins built on the side of the mountain. Let’s just say that I took over 900 pictures that day. The hike up Waynu and then walking around Machu Picchu at the base, and then walking to an Incan bridge not far from the ruins made it impossible for me to keep my camera off. I literally walked, looking straight ahead and taking pictures left and right without even glancing; because everything was so beautiful, it didn’t matter where I turned my camera to snap a picture- it was going to be beautiful! So it was fantastic and gorgeous and unlike anything I had ever seen. Combining Machu Picchu with my trips to Huaráz and Chachapoyas, I am fresh out of words to describe the beauty I have experienced this past month. After seeing all those sights, my friends and I opted to walk back down to Aguas Calientes- another hour-long hike- instead of taking a bus ride down. It was super great to talk and see more wonderful things, but the entire hike was one, LARGE downhill step. LARGE. So we basically walked down huge stairs the whole way, and because of that we are seriously suffering whenever any of us stand up, sit down, walk up an incline, walk down an incline, or really do anything that involves moving. Or breathing. Really, it just hurts. And it “hurts so good”, as I like to say. It feels great to know that I did three good hikes during my travels in Peru. But my poor legs beg to differ at the moment.

After returning to Aguas Calientes, one of my roommates and I decided to be adventurous and try cuy (guinea pig) and alpaca as one of our final meals in South America. We took many pictures to document it, which made the entire lunch more entertaining. But we both agreed that alpaca is delicious (which stinks, because I love alpaca and llamas when they are living- sorry, big guys!). “It tastes like filet mignon!” is what my roomie excitedly said between her first bites. I just really loved it. And the cuy…well, it wasn’t bad. It was like a slightly less-tasty chicken, but the taste is completely overpowered by the way it is prepared and looks. The type of cuy platter we ordered made it so that you get the entire guinea pig, cooked on a plate. That includes the head, the teeth, the little claws, everything. So it’s basically like seeing your pet fried up in front of you, still in the running position. That made me sad, especially since I had an adorable little tater tot of a guinea pig growing up (rest in peace, Precious. Say hi to Petunia for me!)! But now I can say I tried it, and I am glad for the experience. But looking at that nasty head and feet was pretty nauseating- I’m not going to lie. And we had two vegetarians eating lunch with us, and we frequently apologized for the disturbing sight. They were understanding champs. Those poor souls.

We all packed up once again and got ready to take the train from Aguas Calientes back to Cusco for the night. As we were doing this, one of the girls in the program could not find her passport. She looked everywhere and eventually realized that she had left it in a public restroom at Machu Picchu. She ran back there as soon as she thought of it, but her passport was nowhere to be seen. My friends and I caught up with her after she had talked to some people, gone to the police to file a report, and began making plans to get a new one. She would have to miss her flight home, wait in Aguas Calientes alone for four days, pay a hefty fee, and overall just be miserable and alone. It was terrible, and she was understandably very upset. She had a nightmarish afternoon filled with stress and grief over this. And then we get to the train station, and a woman apparently runs up to a couple of the girls in our group, asking if anyone knew a girl who had lost her passport, and they said the name of the girl from our program who had lost her passport. This woman and her friends had found the girl’s passport in the bathrooms at Machu Picchu, picked it up, found her train ticket to Cusco for that night in there, came to the station with the passport, and had been going up to random groups of people, asking if they knew her. Wow. They gave the girl in our group her passport back, and everyone was squealing (well, I don’t really know if any of the boys in our group did!) with happiness for her. She was beaming. And some of us girls even got a little teary-eyed because we were just so touched by the incredible care of these complete strangers who went out of their way to do this for someone they could have never found. And the girl was spared so much pain and trouble and made it home safely. Wow. I just thought that was such an angelic act of kindness.

Speaking of angelic experiences, the bus ride from the train station to our hostel once we arrived in Cusco was breathtaking. We were picked up by the bus around 11:30 pm and had to drive for almost two hours back to where we would spend the night. All of us were very tired from a full day at Machu Picchu, and I wasn’t feeling too well because of all the altitude changes and the pressure it was putting on my sinuses. However, when we all gathered into the bus, sat down, and reveled in the sanctity of darkness once the lights turned off, I realized that no matter how tired I was, I couldn’t sleep. After such a beautiful day, I started to think about everything I had experienced this past month and how amazing it was. I couldn’t stop thinking about how I only had one day left in Peru at that moment. And I just wanted to take it all in and really process that, because I really had not had any time to just sit and think and enjoy the silence since I had arrived in Peru! So I sat, staring out the window, listening to All Sons & Daughters and Gungor, and it was wonderful. And after we got through the towns with all their streetlights, we progressed through miles and miles of open fields, where I saw the stars. There were not just a few, dimly lit dinky ones. They were everywhere, shining so brightly, lighting up the entirely dark midnight sky with their radiant beauty. I have only seen a handful of night skies like that one, and had definitely never seen one in the Southern Hemisphere, in South America, in Peru, in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep on a bus after seeing one of the seven wonders of the world. So I sat there, staring out the window for two hours, beaming about as much as those stars were, listening to music and worshipping God in the most quietly-loud way one ever could. And then everything was perfected when the song, “How He Loves” came on- and yes, I have five different versions of that song, so it was bound to come on sooner or later, but it still feels like a new song every time I listen to it. And I just sat there, mouthing every single word, singing in my head in praise to the Maker who put those stars in the sky every night. The One who had directed my life and cared for me, for every single person I met on this trip, since before we were all born. He led me to Peru, led me to wonderful friends, revealed to me some of my gifts and how I want to use them, showed me the power of music and healing and friendship and delighting in who I was made to be. I learned so much during this one trip for these five week and was stunned by so many amazing experiences, and I chalk that all up to God and am so grateful for every hardship, hard night, sad day, and any other difficult experience I have had to and will continue to go through in order to live in His love and share it with others. I was able to sit there and reflect on all of this, seeing one my favorite things in the entire world, and it was an unreal experience I will never forget.

After those precious moments I had that no one else with me even knew about, I was feeling pumped and energized to finish off this trip with wonderful memories and head home to my loving friends and family. After we got into our hostel at 2 am, we all headed to bed, only to wake up 5 hours later to catch our flight back to Lima. And then after a few more hours of last-minute souvenir shopping and of recruiting all of my friends to help me repack my 20-pounds-overweight suitcase (we did it! CHAMPIONS!), I hugged many wonderful people, and many tearful goodbyes were said before I got into the taxi and headed to the airport. Now that I am home as I write this last part, I just have to say how blown away I am by the friendships I developed with people throughout my time in Peru. I loved the Peruvian friends I made in the orchestra (shout out to Branco, my awesome Peruvian friends who was fluent in English and made my experience in orchestra that much better, thank goodness!!) the students I taught, and my wonderful host family who took such great care of me, but I really treasure the friends I made within the VivePeru program. All the people volunteering in the program had diversely electric personalities that were all so fun and interesting to be around. I really connected with a group of about 6 girls (three of those were my amazing roommates!), and we spent a lot of time together, especially toward the end. I just loved how much they loved me and how they respected me, even though my beliefs and lifestyle were the most contrasting from everyone else’s. We all respected one another and enjoyed our differences, and that was so refreshing and different than what I have seen with most “opposing” groups (whatever type of group that would be) growing up. It was so fantastic to be together with these girls and experience true friendship in such a short amount of time, and it has made me so excited to get back to school and see my wonderful friends there as well! So I am incredibly grateful for that.

After parting ways with my wonderful friends and getting to the airport, I met some more interesting people. I met a high schooler from Georgia in the security line in Lima who was visiting family here in Peru. I met an Irishman in the immigration line who owns a bunch of property in Peru, including a five star hotel right on the coast, and travels here for three weeks each month and is only home in Texas for one week each month. It was very interesting talking to him, and his accent was awesome! After going through security, immigration, and customs in Lima, I finally made it to my gate, where I met a woman sitting next to me who was going home to California and was very excited to see her husband and chihuahua, Homey (yes, that was the dog’s name). Then there was the janitor who was full out singing popular Peruvian pop songs as he was cleaning right next to me who brightened my evening. He seemed very happy, so that was refreshing. After sitting in the gate and starting to write this entire mammoth of an entry, my name was called, and I was asked to come see the worker at the gate. After I packed up my 55-pound carry-ons once again (yes, that is the secret to getting my suitcases to be under the weight limit!), I talked with the worker who told me that I and four other lucky people were randomly chosen by the U.S. government to receive a full screening of our bags and clothing. After that, another agent came to me and conducted the entire screening for me, entirely in Spanish. And I mostly understood what she said and was able to open my bags, open various things for her, turn on my technology, show her my waistband of my pants, take off my shoes, and then repack everything, all by following her directions in Spanish. It was awesome! It was my final feat in South America, and I don’t think she even caught on that I might have not understood her sometimes. I was so giddy after that, even though it was not the most enjoyable experience (especially since the people in security had also done a full search on me and took apart my bags there already. I think my overflowing “personal item” manifested as an oversized tote bag that wouldn’t close was disturbing to them. And the metal foldable music stand that could totally be used as many weapons probably didn’t help.), and because I was examined to thoroughly, I was allowed to board first- cha ching! I slept for a while on the plane, moped a little over leaving everyone and everything, watched the movie Up and cried with Carl when his wife died, then rejoiced with him as his life was once again made whole through the friendships with Dug, Kevin, and Russell. We had a very emotional journey together, Carl and I. Once we landed, I then spent three hours out of my four-and-a-half-hour layover going through immigration, picking up my luggage once again, lugging my bags through customs, rechecking my bags, getting my boarding pass to Detroit on the opposite end of the airport, going through security for 45 minutes with an “enjoyably” impatient, whiny 45 year-old businessman barking complaints at anyone who would listen to his pain and grief of being the only one who is waiting in this line, and finding my gate. I then sat and recharged my technology, took advantage of being able to text and go online on my phone again, and simply enjoyed my traveling adventure. I boarded my flight to Detroit from Miami and spent the two hours of flight time working on this post, so I can now say with accomplishment that it has taken me many hours to compose this masterpiece, and that I have written this from Lima, Miami, in the air, and in my Detroit bedroom, and it has been the perfect way to reflect on my trip and bring my time in Peru to a close.

Now that I am home and am preparing for Suzuki cello book training (which starts tomorrow), am celebrating my and my sisters’ birthdays (for REAL this time!!), am doing some more traveling and visiting of loved ones, am moving into my new apartment in Chicago, practicing, and starting school, I feel very encouraged and ready to begin the next chapter of my life, the one that is full of memories from wonderful life experiences and lessons learned in another country and culture. I can wholeheartedly say that this was the best summer experience of my life so far. I feel a little changed, and all for the better. I just feel so thankful that I experienced all I did, that I fell in love with teaching music and with Peru in general. I know I will miss it tremendously, and it may be hard to adjust from having so many adventures, meeting so many new faces, and experiencing such different things, to being back in the States and back to routine, but I think all these factors have changed the way I view life here and have made me all-the-more grateful for my wonderful life in the U.S.. I have been so blessed growing up and living here, and I want to continue to use what I have been given and what I have learned to help others in not as fortunate places. And Peru helped me discover that, among other things. I will miss it so much, but I hope that that was not the last time I will set foot in Trujillo and that my last Symphony Orchestra rehearsal there leads to other ones in the future with those musicians. J This post brings my wonderful, amazing time in Peru to a close for this year, but I am positive that my time there will continue to affect me for the rest of my life.

Thank you so much for reading my blog- especially this VERY long post-, for supporting me, for praying for and with me, and for just being here for me. You are all amazing, and I greatly, greatly appreciate it.

For now, I will just say “Hasta luego”- “Until later”- and hope to be back in my home-away-from-home country very soon. J